"Forgiveness is a Necessity" - Sermon, September 17, 2017
Community UMC,
Quincy
“Forgiveness is a
Necessity”
Pastor Andrew
Davis
September 17, 2017
Genesis 50: 15-21
Matthew 18: 21-35
Forgiveness is such a challenging, sometimes
heavy, yet always necessary word that we hear on a regular basis around the
church. Each week during the prayers of
the people when we pray together “The Lord’s Prayer” that Jesus taught us, we say the line “forgive
us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” or when we
prepare to take Holy Communion, we seek forgiveness from God for the ways we
have fallen short. Or when we say our
individual prayers at whatever time of day we pray, whether it is morning or
night, we ask God to forgive us for any shortcomings and any harm we have done
to others. Forgiveness is a necessity,
whether we like it or not and no matter how easy or hard it is to forgive
others, as God always offers us forgiveness.
Back in the fourth grade 27 years
ago, my teacher, Mrs. Bingham was another teacher who was formational in my life,
who I recently had a good conversation with her
after getting back in touch on social media.
One of the things I remember most from fourth grade is that whenever we
did something to upset one of our classmates or her, Mrs. Bingham would have us
say “I’m sorry; will you please forgive me?” Asking for forgiveness was not an
option in her class. Kind of hearkens
back to last week’s lesson about listening to and working things out between
each other whenever a conflict would arise.
Mrs. Bingham’s faith played a big role in how she taught our class and
looking back, she definitely followed the example that Jesus taught the
disciples in our lesson last week and this week, where if someone does you
wrong, you take them aside and work it out, and if it doesn’t work, take it
higher up the chain. Then you offer them
forgiveness. Come to think, I don’t
really recall anyone being sent to the principal’s office very often, nor do I
recall our class having too many disciplinary problems.
Nevertheless, the elementary, middle school, and
high school years were often challenging for me as they were or are for many of
us, and in retrospect, will also force me to think about what forgiveness means
in forgiving the people who did not treat me very well. While I did endure my share of teasing and
some bullying, in retrospect, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been based on
hearing or reading stories from others who had it much worse in their school
years. Unfortunately, I was an easy
target because I was overweight (well, I still am), socially awkward, shy, and
reserved, in which I was oftentimes easy prey.
Yet, as we get older, sometimes we would learn to see things in another
light.
Later in high school, one person I had an
occasionally adversarial relationship with from 7th – 10th
grade ended up becoming a good friend later in high school and still is someone
I consider a good friend today, and through conversations online many years
later, I feel like we forgave each other by talking things out and sharing our
perspectives. A few others who gave me
trouble in elementary, junior high, and high school have also become good
friends through the years because we have forgiven each other and learned to
see each other in a different light, even though it took awhile for me to let
that guard down. It makes me reflect
back to the end of the story of Joseph that we just heard Marty read a few
minutes ago, as Joseph endured some pretty crappy treatment by his brothers
early on before being sold by them, then over time, became an important figure
in Potiphar’s court. Amidst the horrible
treatment he received from his brothers, Joseph is able to reconcile with and
forgive his brothers in the end. Except
it took time, as forgiveness does not necessarily happen overnight.
Now, there are some instances where I have
questioned whether forgiveness is necessary or not, as holding grudges felt
much easier than forgiving, or I have struggled with forgiveness because of
being hurt or taken advantage of, as there have been times I wasn't always sure
if I would have been able to forgive like Joseph forgave his brothers after
they had thrown him to a pit and sold him.
However, there are times when I find it hard to say “I’m sorry” and ask
for forgiveness; some of it is probably out my own stubbornness and
perhaps, pride. Except I know if I don’t forgive at some
point, it will come back to haunt me or continue to haunt me, which results in
me having to swallow my pride. Plus,
here’s something to think on when we allow pride to get in our way; pride is
the deadliest of the seven deadly sins, or as C.S. Lewis calls it in his book, Mere
Christianty, “The Great Sin.”[i] So why is forgiveness oftentimes such a
challenge, even though it is a necessity?
Why is forgiveness something we wrestle with so much?
Even
today, whenever we say something to someone else, post something on social
media that ticks someone or a group of people off, or even if we have
accidentally or intentionally hurt someone, our Gospel lesson this morning says
that we need to ask for forgiveness in addition to saying I’m sorry,
challenging as it may be, but also extend our forgiveness as well. However, Jesus doing what he does best, likes
to take things a little bit further when it comes to forgiveness. In a dialogue between Jesus and Peter, Peter
thinks that forgiving someone seven times is sufficient, yet Jesus says “seventy
times seven” (Matt. 18: 22, NRSV).
Although there is a little comic I saw that comes to mind here; not only
does Peter have to learn to forgive seventy times seven, he also has to do math
as well. Perhaps that’s why forgiveness
is so challenging, as it is like having to do math sometimes.
In his book, Unconditional: The Call of
Jesus to Radical forgiveness, scholar and author Brian Zahnd explains that
when it comes to forgiving seventy times seven,
it should be clear that seventy times seven is
related to atonement, forgiveness, and the establishment of everlasting
righteousness. Seventy times seven
becomes an equation connected with how humanity moves beyond transgression and
retribution into the new world of forgiveness and restoration.[ii]
Instead of retribution like we see in some of the
laws in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament, Jesus is taking
a whole new way over the Law of Moses which often called for retribution such
as ‘an eye for an eye.’ Instead, Jesus
commands the crowds back in the “Sermon on the Mount” earlier on in Matthew
towards ‘turning the other cheek’ and forgiving someone seventy times seven
instead of getting even.[iii] At the same time, we also know the idea of ‘turning
the other cheek’ is still a challenge all these years later. Brian Zahnd
further explains that
turning the other cheek, though perhaps heard as
a cliché today, is still a very difficult demand that forces us to push the
boundaries on the possibilities of forgiveness.
But the Christ follower does not have the option to choose Moses’s
reciprocal response over Jesus’s radical forgiveness. Jesus calls his disciples to a different way,
a better way, a higher way, and ultimately, a necessary way.[iv]
As I have said before, I always hope
that whenever any of us find ourselves in the midst of conflict with one
another here in the church, in our workplaces,
our schools, or our households, whether the conflict stems from a simple
disagreement or much more, to take the higher road and not get down to petty
name calling, insults, and the like. The
same goes for how we as a people of faith conduct ourselves in society too, as
we need to take a higher way, a better way, and a different way than the rest
of society wants us to take at times because we in the church are the ones who
should be setting the example. Yet,
despite our best efforts, we will still screw up, we will still fall short at
times. And, we will still need to ask
for forgiveness and extend our forgiveness to others too. In looking at the original Greek, forgiveness
stems from the words apolyō and aphiēmi, which essentially means to “send away”
or “let go.”[v] We send away the bad feelings we harbor towards those
who harmed us and let the feeelings go and even let the people who harmed us go.
On the other hand, do we want to be
like the unforgiving servant that Jesus
uses as the example of unforgiveness? It
seems like a double standard that here, this servant gets his debt forgiven by
his manager only to go and accost the servants who owed him money, refusing to
forgive the other servants their debts to him.
Well, his manager was not too happy and quickly rescinded that
forgiveness and had him endure torture until his debt was paid to the
manager. We don’t want to think that it’ll
be torture if we ourselves don’t forgive, but what happens when we don’t
forgive? As Jesus does points out rather
bluntly, “so my heavenly father will also do to every one of you, if you do not
forgive your brother from your heart” (Matt. 18: 35). This is Jesus using the convention called
hyperbole, when he uses exaggerated statements to make his point clear, as
Jesus equates not forgiving to being tortured, which it does feel like when we
don't let go. The bad feelings and
resentment towards the person who harmed us and vice versa can swirl around for
a long time, which is not all that healthy either because it brings us down and
controls our minds if we let it. On the
other hand, Forgiveness doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to join their hands
together and sing “Kum ba Yah” either.
As I asked on Facebook this week
about what forgiveness means and looks like, one answer is that forgiveness
helps us cleanse our heart and mind, as ‘hate and anger take up too much space’
and can ‘prevent our souls from growing.’ Likewise, forgiveness is letting go
of that hate and anger, even though forgiveness doesn’t mean you’ll ever forget
or necessarily condone another’s actions.
Like one meme I saw not too long ago on Facebook and Instagram,
forgiveness is the equivalent of not allowing someone or something to live
rent-free in your head. Furthermore, in
God’s kingdom, our God is a forgiving God, even when we constantly mess up in
life. As Brian Blount puts it inhe
commentary True to Our Native Land, we need to remember that “it is not
enough that God has forgiven us; we must live and act out of that forgiveness
in ways that make it meaningful,” not like the servant who was forgiven by his
manager, yet failed to forgive the others around him.[vi]
Forgiveness is another instance where it often
feels easier said than done, especially if we have been hurt really badly by
someone else, whether it was verbal or physical. Hence why forgiveness is such a heavy topic
and not always very comfortable topic to talk about because some of the things
that the mere mention of forgiveness can bring to the surface, or the
flashbacks it could cause. Even though I
sometimes wrestle with his writings a little bit, C.S. Lewis explains in Mere
Christianity that “every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they
have something to forgive, as we had to deal with during the war. And then, to mention the subject at all is to
be greeted with howls of anger. It is
not that people think this too high and difficult a virtue: it is that they
think it hateful and contemptible.”[vii] C.S. Lewis lived through both World Wars, fought
and was injured in WWI, and had such perspectives that are found in his many writings,
as forgiveness was a very touchy area in the days, years, and even decades
following both wars and even in some of the present conflicts we are in
today. As this time of year rolls
around, many of us and myself still struggle 16 years after the atrocities of
September 11, 2001 and repercussions that followed, which Brian Zahnd asks in
the first chapter of Unconditional, “is
there a limit to forgiveness?”[viii] Something we can wrestle with here. On the other
hand, C.S. Lewis states that “it is made perfectly clear that if we do not
forgive, we shall not be forgiven. There
are no two ways about it,” which also leaves us wrestling because I know in the
past when I've been hurt or in an act of war, I would much rather obliterate
the you-know-what out of the person who hurt me or the enemy. Nevertheless, there are times when we will
wrestle with the notion of forgiveness, even though it is a necessity towards
creating a brighter future. But, it does
take time too.
There is so much that can be said about
forgiveness, so much more than just one sermon can adequately address. Yet, forgiveness is a necessity especially in
light of conflict that has happened in our lives or in the world around us and
in light of conflict that will inevitably happen. I’m still on the journey too and I still have
people to forgive in my own life and am making my way towards being able to
forgive and hope they have forgiven me for things I may have done to them. And there are things I need to forgive myself
for too. It’s an ongoing journey, and a journey that will make us think, or a
journey that will sometimes leave us feeling very uncomfortable at times. It may make us more upset when we think of
who we need to forgive, but can also lead us to a feeling of greater freedom
and liberation and wholeness when we do forgive. And, forgiveness can restore relationships or
lead to some unlikely friendships.
Earlier this week, one of my colleagues shared a
devotion with several of us and would like to close with:
"And
whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is
in heaven may forgive you your trespasses" (Mark 11:25, ESV).
Many relationships can get stuck in
a downward spiral. Every step forward is quickly followed by two steps back.
Bad times and lonely times overwhelmingly outnumber the times of true joy. It
can feel like no matter how hard you try, the pain of past conflict is just too
close to the surface for anything good to grow. It’s hard to feel hopeful when your
mind is filled with vivid reminders of hurt and failure.
What can help you turn the corner
in severed or strained relationships? What can break the cycle of neglect,
confrontation, injury, and withdrawal? What can heal the past and start forward
momentum?
One
thing: forgiveness.
There are no enduring relationships
without forgiveness. We humans hurt each other. Deeply. If you want to make it
to your golden wedding anniversary, it will require several major forgivenesses
and a truckload of minor ones. If you want to nurture close friendships that
extend over decades, if you want your family to thrive—you will have to learn
to dole out and thrive in forgiveness. You can forgive, and God
wants to help you. Never are we more like Christ than when we choose to
forgive.
Forgiveness is much easier to talk
about than to do, yet it is a God-given mandate that brings incredible healing.
Our Lord has commanded us to stay busy in this matter of forgiveness: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have
anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive
you your trespasses.”
Jesus didn’t simply talk about
forgiveness. He modeled it in His everyday life. From the woman caught in
adultery (John 8:1–11) to His final words on the cross—“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)—forgiveness is what Jesus was and is
all about.
How about you? If you profess to be
a follower of Jesus Christ, are you all about forgiveness? No doubt there are
countless people who have injured you, said false things about you, betrayed
you, or wounded you with their actions and reactions. The offender might be a
co-worker, a neighbor or trusted friend, a parent or sibling, a spouse or
child. So much of the strife in our relationships is rooted in our
unwillingness to forgive.
Forgiveness is a decision to
release a person from the obligation that resulted when he [or she] injured
you. Once you forgive, you release [them] from what [they] owe you. You let go
of getting even. You don’t want to see [them] suffer to repay you. You set
[them] free.
Through forgiveness you also
release healing into your own life—healing of your soul, followed by the
potential for healing in your relationships.
It
all starts with one simple yet difficult choice: to forgive.
Journal
·
Whom do you need to forgive? Who
has the Holy Spirit brought to mind as you read about forgiveness?
·
From what specific obligation do
you need to release him or her?
Pray
[Creator] God, please reveal those I need to forgive. Shine the bright light of Your truth into the dark corners of my heart, where I hide unforgiveness. I choose today to forgive. Because it’s something You commanded me, I know it’s possible. And because it’s something that pleases You, I beg You to help me. Please help me to forgive, deeply, from my heart, as You have forgiven me. Wherever possible, and as much as it depends on me, please heal my relationships. In the name of Jesus, who paid the highest price for my forgiveness, amen.[ix]
[Creator] God, please reveal those I need to forgive. Shine the bright light of Your truth into the dark corners of my heart, where I hide unforgiveness. I choose today to forgive. Because it’s something You commanded me, I know it’s possible. And because it’s something that pleases You, I beg You to help me. Please help me to forgive, deeply, from my heart, as You have forgiven me. Wherever possible, and as much as it depends on me, please heal my relationships. In the name of Jesus, who paid the highest price for my forgiveness, amen.[ix]
[i]
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: HarperOne, 1952), 121.
[ii]
Brian Zahnd, Unconditional: The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness (Lake
Mary, FL: Charisma House, 2010), 25.
[iii]
Ibid., 28
[iv]
Ibid. 28-29
[v] "Genesis 1:1 (KJV)". 2017. Blue
Letter Bible. Accessed September 14 2017.
https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?t=kjv&strongs=g863.
[vi]
Briak K. Blount, True to Our Native Land (Minneapolis: Fortress Pres,
2007), 109.
[vii]
C.S. Lewis, 115.
[viii]
Zahnd, 2
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